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Schaffer the Darklord
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The Rappist
Well, my name is Schäffer and I'm here to say I can rock the mic in the old school way I got a funky sound And right about now I'd like to break it down Uh, uh, say 'what'
Don't call it hip-hop because it's really isn't If you listen it's similar but just a little different Rhythmically delivered lyrics over wicked beats Are the end of this and hip-hop's similarities 'Cause I don't bounce and I don't do rap hands See look at me I look like an ass, man No crew, no gin and juice I'm no Dr. Dre I'm more like Dr. Seuss I wouldn't use the word rapper it's rather inaccurate I do talk fast use rhyming words like immaculate Hubba Bubba bubble gum Bubblelicious bubble yum Rubber baby buggy bumpers, this is dumb I don't rap about the ladies all or individuals Or call my bitchin' about the world political I don't send shout-outs I don't ever front I just discuss a bunch of goofy stuff and say 'what'
I'm not the badest or the fastest or the phattest My name is STD my people call me the rappist I'm no rapper this isn't hip-hop Call me the rappist and you don't stop
Well I'm not the badest or the fastest or the phattest My name is STD my people call me the rappist
Everyone'll wonder what the booker was under when I come out and step to the mic You were asking for a rapper, instead you got the rappist And it happens that there's no one I'm like Outta sight
I don't freestyle, I only write my words and I'm singin' it To me wingin' it's for the birds
I often get asked too by non-rappin' band nerds STD is the abbreviation for standard
GO No DJ, no need for turntables Just give me my box, a 58, and a cable An on stage DI and some monitors, too But keep the reverb off my mix sound man, thank you
And I don't play tough and say 'Step the fuck back' What the fuck is that? That's not how I act I like to keep my audience up close to the stage I'd you rather you stay than chased away when I play
So where's Queens at? What? Where's Queens at? What? Dude let me show you on this street map It's right here over Roosevelt, across the East river That's enough of that crap I got some raps to deliver Ohhh
Everybody, look at me Who's he? He's STD He's a geek, he's no MC Just who the hell's he s'posed to be And he's so, I dunno I know he's no rapper and that's when I go Ho-tel, Mo-tel, Holiday Inn
Killer outta sight, it's the rappist delight When goosebumps are jumpin' outta your skin, I win I don't dance, never, not a god damn chance I stand in the back clutching a cup in my stance One hand in my pocket, head nodding, hunched over Sippin' cheap, yellow beer, clear out before the show's over
When a rapper says 'throw your hands up' I don't Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com When a rapper says 'make some noise' I won't Bossing your audience is awfully pompous So I'll never do it, that's the STD promise
I'll never battle rap or rap like I'm black And I'll try to never lose sight of just where I'm at Goddamnit! And I'll never do that again And by that I mean end a sentence with a preposition
I got props for the real hip-hop Those who pop and lock to the beat of a boombox Those who cock their Glocks and yell 'Fuck the cops!' It's just not how I rock and I don't stop
Everybody, look at me Who's he? He's STD He's a geek, he's no MC Just who the hell's he s'posed to be And he's so, I dunno I know he's no rapper and that's when I go
Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge And I'm tryin' not to lose my head In the west, I'm the raddest, I'm the best, I'm the rappist In the street I've not a drop of cred
I said I almost always write my rhymes on a page of 3 by 5 notebooks I buy at Rite Aid And I like to write 'em with a Pilot Precise 5, rolling ball, black ink, and extra fine
I don't need a titular line (try) Stickin' to my themes and write original rhymes
Indeed, I smoke weed, I rarely write without it But I don't really feel that means I need to rap about it I guess I often write song by my formula Which is 3 verses followed by 3 choruses But never open going 'yo, yo!' When I hear a rapper do that I go 'oh, no!'
Though I'm not implyin' that you don't know what you're doin' But often times awful rhymes do ruin an otherwise perfectly fine instrumental I think you should avoid ink and write with a pencil And erase the parts that don't sound so hot This'll all be covered in my workshop entitled 'This is How to Write a Rhyme' At least it's how to write it in a style that's mine
Everybody, look at me Who's he? He's STD He's a geek, he's no MC Just who the hell's he s'posed to be And he's so, I dunno I know he's no rapper and that's when I go
Oooh oooh That's the sound of the police but I really doubt they're coming for me Because I've done no crime, I'm just doin' my thing I'm the rappist known as STD
Don't call it hip-hop because it really isn't It's just a little different, did you listen as I did it I just spit a mile a minute now I'll hit it 'n quit it I'm only kiddin', you with it? You in it? You get it?
Well, I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest My name is STD my people call me the rappist
Bass How low can you go? Deathrow What a brotha knows
This is the end of the track called 'The Rappist' And thanks for comin' out to the show
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